A couple of weeks ago I shared with you an excerpt from Kids First, Diabetes Second about diabetes burnout. This post is along those lines…
I truly feel that after all these years, diabetes has faded into the background as much as it can.
Of course it’s ever present. We check blood sugars about 10 times a day, we replace her insulin pump every three days, and she gets a new CGM sensor when the current one gives out. I fill prescriptions and jump through hoops to get what we need when we need it. I field text messages from the school nurse to answer quick questions.
Some days it’s just routine and some days it throws us for a loop.
I know that I’m not the one with diabetes and for every action that I take, my daughter is dealing with it, too. That being said, I try to shoulder as much of the burden as I can because she has her entire life ahead of her to deal with her own diabetes.
Sometimes I’m just burned out.
And it’s not the monumental things that take their toll. It’s the monotony of doing the same thing over and over and over again.
The “beep beep, beep beep” of her insulin pump telling me it needs changed every three days.
The vibration of the CGM receiver on my nightstand at two in the morning when all I want to do is sleep.
I should consider it a win that instead of four or more injections each and every day that we only have to change her pump every 3 days. I should consider it a win that I don’t have to set my alarm for the middle of the night to check on her, but can rely on her CGM to wake me.
“Okay, I hear you. I’ll get to you in 10 minutes.”
As I type this it has been 2820 days since my child’s diagnosis with type 1 diabetes. That’s seven years, eight months, and nineteen days.
It’s like Groundhog Day.
The details of the day might change and you might get better at dealing with it. But each day when you awake, your child still has diabetes.
You still have to check blood sugars.
You still have to count carbs.
You still have to give insulin.
You still have to treat lows.
You still have to combat highs.
It’s funny because I don’t think I have major diabetes burnout. It is what it is and I deal with it. But it’s the little things that sometimes irritate me to no end.
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