Hope was the thing you picked to happen and fear was the thing you picked not to happen.
–My Name is Memory, Ann Brashares
Do you live in hope or in fear?
I think that parents of children with diabetes are constantly walking a tightrope.
At diagnosis, we climb a tall ladder and stand on the platform of fear.
We grab the balancing pole, hands tightly gripped, and are given a nudge to begin tiny steps.
We have no choice but to begin moving our feet.
We look down and there appears to be no net to catch us should we fall.
As we gain more confidence in our ability to care for our children our gaze shifts from the floor below that seems to have dropped from under us and we begin to see a light on the far away platform.
Our fingers relax their grip and we begin to find balance.
We walk a bit more quickly as we approach the platform of hope.
But we have to be mindful of the pull from one side to the other.
We have fear that we will not catch a severe low in the overnight hours.
Fear that our children will go too high or too low during the school day.
Fear of possible some day complications that may be beyond our control.
Fear that our hard work is not good enough.
We have hope that someday there will be a cure so that our children will be adults that are diabetes free.
Hope that this disease does not change who they are.
Hope that they are happy and healthy.
The trick is finding balance to navigate the tightrope as we are pulled in many directions at once.
Balance is using the pole to steady us so that we are not white-knuckled as we walk this fine line.
It is inevitable that we will fall from the rope, but we can do our best to gracefully somersault in the air and land on our feet and climb the ladder once again.
*Image via Flickr.